![]() If anything, you’re more capable than most to live alone. Being a “housewife” doesn’t mean you’re incapable. I can appreciate that, after spending your entire adult life living with the same person, the thought of living alone is scary. If you can afford it, I think your husband living in his own small apartment, while you stay in your family home with your granddaughter, could give you both the physical and psychological space to figure out what you want. ![]() Two things I’d suggest: counseling (for you as individuals and for you as a couple) and time apart. Or maybe just the idea of retirement has been so scary or nerve-wracking that, once it’s over, he will begin to calm down. Maybe his career has been especially stressful and draining. But often, when people experience a big life change - and retirement is certainly among the biggest - their temperaments change too. I wouldn’t expect the change to occur quickly, or necessarily at all. But it is possible for him to change, especially now that he’s retiring. Do you want a divorce or separation? Would you be willing to stay if your husband and/or relationship changed? Obviously, you cannot change your husband, which I’m sure you know after more than 40 years together. ![]() Your confusion is clear and the most important thing you need to do is get clear about what it is you want. I don’t really want to leave, but I just can’t live with his anger and negativity anymore. Our granddaughter, whom we raised, just doesn’t like him. Part of me wants to leave him because he is making me so unhappy and is making everyone else uncomfortable when they are here. I love him, but at the same time I can’t stand him. I just can’t live with his anger and negativity anymore. This has put him in a very angry mood, which I understand. He is going to retire in about two months. My husband is a very negative person in every aspect of his life. We have two grown daughters, and one granddaughter we raised from birth who is 21 and still living with us and going to a community college. I am 60 years old and I am afraid to live on my own. I have been married 41 years and dated my husband for three years before our marriage.
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